Habbaniyah Waterfall- this is the species of mullet (the haircut, not the fish) that I was lucky enough to encounter only two days ago. Note the locks of long black hair, cascading past the neck and shoulders; draping onto a shirt that would have been stylish only 20 years ago. The "molester-mustache", meticulously groomed with such pride that anyone gazing upon it will only turn away in shame; shame that they do not also own such fine craftsmanship of outdated facial hair.
A rare specimen indeed, this is only the 2nd mullet I have seen in my almost 12 total months in Iraq. The first was in July of 2004; an insurgent being escorted into Abu Ghraib prison- fitting, isn't it? Like an exciting episode of Cops, but with the criminal actually clad in a shirt (ever notice how the criminals on that show never wear shirts?).
The 2nd sighting occurred earlier this week....a convoy of "jingle trucks"(shown in picture) stopped at our base to refuel. An avid mullet hunter, I easily spotted the prey inside his truck at 400 meters away, bouncing down the road, all the bells and whistles screaming "hey dude, look at me- but watch yourself, I will fight you at the drop of a hat". In terms of "mulletude", this gentleman had it all. The truck, the attire, the 'stache, and as I would soon see, the swaggar. As his truck rolled to a stop at the fuel point, the driver's door opened.....I swear I saw the clouds part and rays from heaven shine down upon my find, with a multitude of heavenly host singing "Hallelujah, Hallelujah!". He then, cool as can be, climbed out of the truck, leaned against the side, and lit a knockoff Marlboro- with a match. Unfortunately, these sightings don't always happen when I am armed with my trusty Olympus digital camera (my weapon of choice in the task of mullet-documenting), and I wasn't able to capture him- this time.
Mullets are the same virtually everywhere in the world. Languages and locations may differ, but the same cocky swagger and insistance upon all things 1980's remains steadfast. They are elusive and cunning, but I will continue the hunt.
5 comments:
It would seem that you are not in Iraq after all, but rather in Charleston South Carolina at the Naval Consolidated Brig. How else would you have gotten a picture of known terrorist and prisoner Ali Saleh Kahlah al-Marri in all of his mullet glory. Well done sir. --Matt
Mullets, hmmmm....
The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the "United States Redneck Special Forces".
These Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, Missouri, Oklahoma, Tennessee and Texas boys will be dropped off into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:
1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music, or Jesus.
5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the death of Dale Earnhardt.
We expect the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.
And then this....for the "good humor guys"....
What does marine stand for?
It is an acronym….Muscles are required, intelligence not expected.
Ha ha ha, very clever acronym....In the same spirit, then, I believe USMC stands for U.Suck.My.C@%K. :)
Thats fair...:-)
How about this one..I liked it anyway...
Two airmen were driving across country on leave. They come to a Marine Corps base and decide to visit. They approach the gate and the Marine Guard walks up to the driver's window, and taps on it with his nightstick. The driver rolls down the window, and the Marine smacks him in the head with
the stick. The driver says, why’d you do that?
The Marine says, you’re on a United States Marine Corps Base, son. When I come up to your car, you'll have your ID card ready.
Driver says, I'm sorry, we’re in the Air Force, and we didn't know.
The Marine examines the I.D. card and gives it back to the driver.
The Marine walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls his window down, and the Marine smacks him with the nightstick.
The passenger says, what’d you do that for?
The Marine says, just making your wishes come true.
The passenger says, Huh?
The Marine says, I know that as soon as you pull away you're gonna say, 'I wish that sucker would've tried that **** with me!'
Wow. . well, I found a photo of a dear friend from high school wearing a mullet on her person. And now we look at it and laugh. Ha! Anyway, I don't have much to say in response to your post. . maybe it's the lack of sleep??? Thanks for chatting with me last night. . . and giving me such a hard time. Turns out Stephen says the lady was slightly inebriated - so, no. . I would not have helped her. . . sorry. Anyway, I'll pick up the GS Cookies tomorrow and send them off on Friday. xoxoxo
Post a Comment