Today was an amazing day! One of my Indian laborers found what appears to be an artifact from the time of Abraham....some sort of ancient war club, perhaps. This glorious specimen was found inside a dumpster, of all places! What an incredible find; truly amazing.
Now, I would like to apologize for the graphic nature of this post. This blog was started as a means for me to report my daily observations to those back home, and alas, I cannot control the content or subject matter- I simply write what I see. When Mofon, one of my 30 subcontract workers, shouted "Sir, look!", I was appalled. I asked myself, "why would someone discard of a truly anomalous piece of history?" That's actually not true, either. As soon as I saw this magnificent piece of artwork, I knew I would be reporting on it tonight. I thought 'long and hard' (I'm sorry, I couldn't help that one) about giving a funny, yet plausible, explanation for this prize found inside the refuse. Here are just a couple of them, and I'll let you, the reader, decide for yourself just what exactly this object could be....and moreover, why is said object on a nearly all-male military base? (or you could just click to enlarge the picture)
Explanation #1- A martial arts training move that went horribly wrong.
#2- A rocket attack that resulted in obvious tragedy. (the bright side being certain pieces are still intact)
#3- A strange, chocolate, Easter treat left from last spring.
#4- Judging by the delicate yet prideful way it is being held, perhaps this contracting company has switched from certificates to trophies for achievement awards.
6 comments:
You are truly in the cradle of civilization and faith. Amazing! What a great blog...you're a terrific writer! Love, AD
I hope after this glorious find, you explained to your workers that this artifact is from a special species not yet identified. OR, on another thought, perhaps you opened up your XMAS box a bit too early this year... The U.S. Customs office was also perplexed as to what this erect object was. I said simply, "a memory from home." That seemed suffice. Brian J.
Ummmmm...Can i borrow that?
Jim-
You thought only Border Magic employees could be that perverted. Don't say I didn't warn you, because I did. However, that is an impressive piece (not as impressive as my 5 businesses). I'll be expecting to see flyers and other advertising information for this artifact on my doorhandle by next week.
Arney Gass
I have nothing to say. . . nothing. Oh. . . umm. . . . wow!
Gay? NO!!
Bi? NO!!
Curious? Well....yeah
You should make that as a conch (like on Lord of the Flies) and only let your guys talk while they are holding it over their heads. ---Matt
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